We often lack compassion when it comes to ourselves.
3 solutions to a happier, more compassionate life with oneself.
We’re too fat, too ugly, too poor, too disconnected, too lazy, too unlucky. You’ve seen the meme, “Everyone you meet is going through something you know nothing about. Be kind.” How do you apply that compassion to yourself? How do you become #1 in your life?
One of the easiest ways to develop a mindset of compassion for oneself is to stop considering the thoughts of others. What? That sounds awfully self centered and socially irresponsible, Dr. Lou!
We care too much about what others think. Ask yourself this question: If you lived in the forest or an abandoned city with nobody to judge you, your clothes, your actions or your beliefs, would you be as hard on yourself? Are your biggest issues with yourself based on the thoughts of those around you? If you had nobody to compare yourself to physically or mentally, would you care how you look or what you know? Of course not. So why do the views and thoughts of people you don’t know matter right now? If you don’t know or interact with them isn’t that similar enough to being void of them to be able to ignore the battles with oneself? Heck, sometimes the thoughts and views of those closest to us aren’t even worthy of acknowledgement.
We don’t need to lack compassion for others or ignore their right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, we just need to not care about what they think about us. Their views of us are theirs, not ours. Our self conscious lives are mostly created by us, poorly responding or judging the thoughts and views of others.
Here are the three tools I find helpful for resolving some of the self abuse we deal ourselves because of our perceptions of what others think of us.
- Choose social media wisely. Much of social media is a forum for people to show off and express why their views are better than others. Social media is very judgmental. It’s tough to not compare ourselves to others when they are in our faces in ways we see and hear.
- Surround yourself with people who make you a better person and accentuate your positives.
- Devote yourself to focusing on producing the life that YOU want. Based on YOUR beliefs and the things YOU care about. Ignore the others. Many of the happiest, most successful people in history and alive today, did their own thing without regard to the “poopoo-ers” and nay sayers. Commit yourself to doing things your way, with compassion toward yourself, as long as it’s not at the expense of the happiness of others.